Rules of the road

Hang up and drive.
I can spot you from a mile away. You are the one going too slow, too fast, almost changing lanes, cutting people off, pissing people off. And worst of all you think you are good driver. That is probably what you’re telling the person on the other end!

Merge.
If you do not know how, let me offer this piece of advice. @#$%^&* LEARN! There, I said it.
Somehow this is a complex theological issue for some. Do I have the faith to go forward oh but I hesitate! No stop, No go, no straddle the lane line and brake, no wait, punch it swerve to the far lane where traffic moves the fastest and slam on the brakes before I hit something that really is not there.
First get a clue about the highway.
Accelerate smoothly to the anticipated highway speed at that time, turn on the signal thingy to let others know your approaching and your intent to ASK for entry. (guess what, I do not HAVE to let you in and cutting me off will only cause me to check the current state of my insurance and quite possibly bash your freaking side panels in).
Check your mirrors and LOOK to make sure you have room.
And while STILL ACCELERATING, smoothly move into the open space and maintain your pace with the traffic. Physics lesson: turning the wheels increases friction, which slows you down. You must accelerate slightly to overcome this while changing lanes and you may lose a car length in distance during your lane change if you do not. If I am allowing you in, that may be all the room you have to begin with. (And make sure the turn thingy is off.)
DO not think once you are there you can breathe a sigh of relief and slow to residential speeds, go with the flow. Look around, relax, turn the head-banger channel off and cruise.
If you decide you cannot handle it flip the thingy the other way and smoothly get off the highway.

Some more helpful suggestions:
ALL vehicles have turn signals. See if yours works. Then use it.
Did you really need to mash the brake pedal because someone 7 cars ahead did, when just taking your foot off the accelerator pedal would suffice?

After mashing said pedal do you now find it needful to mash the accelerator because it left a gap and feel the inherent need to fill the void and be a whisker from the vehicle in front of you at all times?
If I leave a 1or 2 car gap at the limit and it’s heavy traffic, that does not mean you are free to dart across three lanes, occupy that space, and mash the brakes. I will be tempted to become the person in the preceding line with my high beams on so you can see me.

Smooth is fast. I’ll say it again, Smooth is fast.
Oh and just to remind you …learn to merge.
If they are passing you on both sides, you are going too slow. In rush hour you may be driving at precisely the speed limit, but you have become the problem, GET OVER!

If you see no one in front of you and many behind- GET OVER! I do not care if you intend to turn at some point in the foreseeable future, when the time comes; you can merge and complete your turn until then travel in the lane meant for your speed.
If you see the vehicle in front of you has no one in front of it, and does not follow the previous advice, getting so close you can smell their farts is not the answer, back off and go around. The rest of us will thank you for not being the fool that rear ends them when they hit the brakes to avoid the spec of dust blowing across the road.

Just
Hang up and Drive.